Pretty Never Underestimate A Woman Who Works At Citibank Shirt

Unpopular Opinion: Lemons are for all. Here in Cali, it seems like the vast majority are decorative and left to rot. The rule is “if you walk past the tree all the time and no one is taking any lemons - help yourself to a few.” Paint several hand grenades yellow. Affix them to the lemon tree. Await results. (You may want to reinforce your lemon tree with structural steel so it can withstand grenade blasts. You may also want to mark the grenades so that you do not inadvertently go the way of the citrus-purloining concubines--or perhaps employ irritating junior relatives for the purpose, and don't mark the grenades.)

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