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One of the issues is that we are trained to push feelings down, and we don’t even recognize them anymore until they become clear to everyone. My therapist asked me the other day “what makes you happy” and I couldn’t give him a real answer that was not platitudes. I am working on it, and you can help your partner do so too. My wife started doing something to get me to talk more. She'll ask me a question, and I might say something "nothing." Or maybe she'll say, "how was your day?" and I'll reply "Fine." Then she doesn't respond. She lets the silence hang. It gets quiet, makes me uncomfortable, gives me time to think, and eventually, apparently I start talking all on my own. I don't know if it works on other people, but it might be worth a try.

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