Dachshund Can I Pet Dat Dawg Shirt

 Lemon stealing whores are a lot like deer and can be scared away in a similar method. The first step is to make a moat around your house. Then you add in the pirañas and crocodiles. Then you add in an electric fence with turrets that shoot compressed air. Near the lemon tree, add spring-loaded weight-sensing platforms to toss the goddamn lemon-stealing whores back into the moat. Put a bar of mint-scented soap inside a pantyhose and hang it in the tree. The next time you see the lemon stealing whore, run outside, grab your pantyhose, and beat the everliving daylights out of them.

Buy it: Dachshund Can I Pet Dat Dawg Shirt

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